Crappiest gherkins in the West
This is the sum total of my gherkin crop for 2008.
It’s deeply, deeply shitty. And wretchedly unfair. I did everything right, but the weather crapped on me.
I’ve just got back from a short trip to Russia, where the sun was shining and the temperature was 25C. Cloudless skies, floating blossom, the lazy buzzing of bees, etc etc.
Then I get back to yet more British floods. I find myself questioning, not for the first time, the sanity of my forebears.
After all, these are the people who rowed across the English Channel in approx 4000 BC and decided to stay.
They must have arrived in July, during the only hot summer of the last seven millennia.
Know what you mean.
Theres rain, and theres torrential rain, and, 400 metres below that there sits the swampy goo that is leigh on sea allotments.
On top of that some pheasant plucker has pinched my sweetcorn and marrows.
May they choke on my marrows and let the sweetcorn be riddled with tapeworm.
Caz.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Bah humbug. My tomatoes have got blight 🙁 I blame the weather, of course. Chickens are mightily unimpressed too – they look at me with disdain as if it’s *my* fault it’s ‘pissistinently’ hammering down.
Anyhow, I love pickled gherkins. Always have done, always will.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I concur with your sentiments. Crap Summer! Blight and fungus all over the place.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:59 am
That’s 3 more shitty cucumbers than I got for 2008 crops! My lemon ones did much better but they so tiny it’s only enough to piss you off.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
The weather crapped on my chickens too, they are starting to quack!
September 11th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Ok I’ll give you crappiest cucumbers in blighty but not in the west mine will beat those hands down. 🙂
Have you eaten them yet?
September 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Yes, Laura. Scoffed them fairly quickly, but not with much pleasure: they’d gone bitter, as cucumber sometimes do.
So total failure all round!
October 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am