The ultimate sin

I did something heinous and heretical today: I paid somebody to dig over part of my allotment. Had lunch with a friend yesterday and confessed. He was aghast.

“Er, but this is your hobby… right?”

I could only agree.

“You do it for pleasure?”

I nodded.

“And now you’re paying somebody to do something you would normally enjoy?”

He sipped his drink and considered this for a minute.

“So when are you going to start paying this guy to shag your wife?”

The logic was, and is, ineluctable. It is absurd. I am paying a man to live my life. Worst of all, it feels like the right thing to do.

Why? Because I work my arse off all the time and I spent the winter supervising a building project. There’s been no time to do a damn thing I wanted.

This is how I rationalise it anyway. It’s still shit.

5 Responses to “The ultimate sin”

  1. 5olly Says:

    I’d happily pay someone to dig my plot, but I wouldn’t be certain they would pull out all the bind weed roots!

  2. Says:

    For whatever reason (mainly failure), I lost interest in my raised beds this fall. So I just tossed around a few handful of wildflowers, and what do you think? All the heirloom lettuce seeds that gave me a pass last year decided to sprout this year. Moral of the story: treat them like weeds and they’ll grow like weeds.

  3. Lee Says:

    So you’ve basically become an allotment cuckold?! For shame.

  4. Tom D Says:

    Give it up Soilman. The magic has gone…. Start wine-makimg, join Neighbourhood Watch, take up macrame – but never ever pay someone to dig an allotment (assuming you are in good health of course).. No way back old son – the Rubicon has been crossed..

  5. Says:

    I love gardening, growing veg etc, hate digging. I’d do it in a heartbeat if I had the extra moolah 🙂